Aren't you just a bunch of homophobes?
By definition, homophobia is "fear or hatred of homosexuals". We neither fear nor hate those who struggle with same-sex attractions. We only seek to help them find the truth God has set before them. Most people involved in Courage are members and so understand where a person is at one says he or she is gay or lesbian.
We seek to embrace all no matter where they are at in dealing with their feelings. Some people do not want to live gay. There are many who are attracted to their own sex but who would never consider themselves gay or lesbian. There are some that are still trying to decide just where they are at with all of this. We are here for all those people and offer our support of their journey toward becoming the people they want to be.
Our critics say our attitudes contribute to homophobia. It's important to note that those critics are often pro-gay individuals who've never experienced prolonged same sex attractions themselves or strugglers who have not experienced or desired sexual reorientation. Those who have found help and experienced change report that the life they lived as gay people was miserable for them, especially after the initial relief of coming out had passed. And we tend to put more weight on what they say as, after all, they have seen both sides.
Some people say God hates homosexuals. What do you think?
We believe that God loves everyone. It doesn't matter whether they struggle with same-sex attractions, are male or female, black, brown, white.... God created everyone and everything, and He loves all the people He made.
It is true that many cultures and religions, including Judaism, Christianity and Islam, say that sexual behavior outside of marriage between a man and a woman is wrong. Saying that certain behavior is wrong, does not mean that God hates the people who do that behavior.
Whether you are attracted to others of the same sex or the opposite sex, we want to assure you that God loves you very very much.
Does God love people who try to change but don't succeed?
YES, absolutely! God loves everyone. His love does not depend on whether a person is able to change his or her sexual attractions. God loves us because He made us
and we are special to Him.
When things do not go the way we would like them to go in life, we may feel God doesn't love us. The choices we make in life about our behavior may also affect whether
we feel that He loves us. God weeps when we do things that hurt us, but He never, ever stops loving us.
Does God love people who don't want to change?
Yes, yes and YES. God's love for us is not conditional upon what we do. He loves us simply because we are His creation and precious to Him. Sometimes this is hard to grasp, especially if much of the love we have experienced from other people has depended on what we are like and what we do.
God's love is not like that. He does not say, "Just do this and be that, and then I'll consider loving you." Rather, He takes the first step, reaching out to us in love.
I've prayed and prayed and asked God to change me, but nothing's happened...
It certainly can be discouraging when our prayers do not seem to be answered the way we hope they will be. In regard to homosexuality, there are at least three reasons why prayers for healing and change might not be answered the way we expect:
1. Expecting that God will magically snap His fingers and make a person's homosexual feelings go away can be unrealistic. Change comes through process, not by magic. We need to be willing to go through such a process, putting the necessary components in place and taking the necessary action. This is more difficult than expecting God to do magic, but in the long run it is the only way to see real progress and deep change.
2. Sometimes God's priorities are different than our priorities. God may know that we need to deal with another issue first, even if it may seem unrelated to homosexual feelings and attractions.
For example, a woman came into one organization's office wanting to change but expressing frustration that nothing was happening. As she told her story, she mentioned that she hated her father and wished he was dead. She also said that there was no way she was going to change the way she felt about him. In light of this, it was no surprise to the counselor that she had not made any progress. From a developmental perspective, she had to be open to work through unresolved issues with her father before further progress could be made.
3. In response to an earlier question, we mentioned that change of sexual attraction is not guaranteed. Some people will experience same-sex attraction their whole lives. They may have stopped all involvement in same-sex sexual behavior. They may even have worked through whatever significant issues influenced their sexuality, without having the direction of their attractions change.
By all means pray and ask God to help you come out of homosexuality. You'll need His love and strength to help you through. Put yourself in the best environment for achieving the kind of changes you are looking for, and start taking steps in the direction you wish to go. You don't have to go it alone either; find others who will support you on your journey. God can use them especially if there are difficult things you need to face.